From http://www.fastcompany.com/3057086/lessons-learned/the-surprising-habits-of-the-biggest-risk-takers
The Surprising Habits Of The Biggest Risk Takers
Risk takers aren't reckless, they pore over the details and study their situations inside and out because they have so much at stake.
Gwen Moran 02.26.16 5:41 AM
While most successful careers and businesses require a certain amount of risk, few business leaders would likely compare themselves to high-stakes poker players or BASE jumpers plummeting off a cliff. But these professional risk takers may have more in common with you than you think, says science journalist Kayt Sukel, author of the new book The Art of Risk: The New Science of Courage, Caution, and Chance.
"Whether I talked to a BASE jumper, professional poker player, or a die-hard special-forces operator, they all tended to say some of the same things about risk," she says. "You have people who come from very different worlds with different training and skill sets that still use this process in the same way to meet their goals.
The similarities are striking—and that’s good news for the rest of us, because extreme risk takers can help us better understand risk. Here are some of the lessons we can learn from them that will help us better face the uncertainty we face every day.
Risk Takers Are More Nerds Than Superheroes
If you think that a BASE jumper is just a crazy badass who risks life and limb every day, you’re not paying attention to the finer points. Risk takers pore over the details, do their homework, and study their situations inside and out because they have so much at stake, Sukel says.
"These folks aren't just walking out in the middle of the street and saying, ‘Hey, I think I'm going to jump out of a plane today,’ or, "You know what, I think it's really time I invade Afghanistan," or whatever. They engage in a lot of planning, they have a lot of background, and they know all the ins and outs of situations before they face them," she says. The better you know your situation, challenges, and objectives, the more successful you can be because you’re prepared, she says.
Risk Taking Is A Process, Not A Trait
Despite their stereotype as impulsive and reckless, Sukel says that successful risk takers are planners and typically map out the steps they need to take to achieve their goals. It’s not that they’re taking enormous chances that could jeopardize their lives and livelihoods with no preparation. Instead, they’re successful because they’ve taken myriad small risks and been successful. They’re process-oriented, testing their skills and approaches to ensure they achieve the long-term goal, she says.
When Sukel spoke with BASE jumper Stephanie "Steph" Davis, who lost her sponsorship from nutrition bar maker Clif Bar, which cited concerns about risk, Davis countered that few see the work that goes into her climbs. Sukel says Davis worked for two summers before she climbed the difficult Salathé Wall in Yosemite National Park.
"We see these YouTube videos or these movies where it looks like they just woke up in the morning and decided to throw themselves off a cliff, but no. They're getting the right equipment. Steph even helps design equipment for this stuff. They're always practicing their craft. They're always training. They're always learning more," Sukel says.
Risk Takers Make Mistakes
And during all of that practice and while taking those smaller chances, successful risk takers notice what they’re doing wrong and correct their mistakes—and they learn to let them go. Sukel says that a risk taker told her, "I don’t fail. I’m just not done yet." That message was revelatory for the author.
"How often in my life have I actually just said, 'Oh I messed this up. I'm done.' What if instead I said, ‘You know what? I'm not done yet. I need to try this again. I need to fall down seven times, get up eight.’ I think a lot of times we miss out on our long-term goals because we get too emotional about the failure, as opposed to the lessons that it can teach us," she says.
Risk Taking Is Not "Good" Or "Bad"
You may think you’re not a risk taker, but you’re wrong. Everyone takes risks. Even trying not to take risks has risks, Sukel says. But when you allow your team to have room to innovate and try new things—even things that will not pan out—you’re creating a culture that allows risk. And while no one likes failure, or adverse effects to the bottom line, accepting small failures may help you avoid the bigger ones.
"I think about the scientific method [of research], which has worked out so well. It is a great tool for getting questions answered, for moving forward, for innovation and development, and a big part of the scientific method is, ‘You're not always going to have positive results,’" she says.
What does it feel like to be fired from Facebook?
Let me start my answer by saying that people who haven't experienced this have not the faintest idea of what it may feel like.
I
was terminated one day because something I did violated a policy. I
won't go into what it was to protect my identity and that of all
involved. But all the people I told what it was about have been
extremely surprised. What I did was the equivalent of jaywalking:
against the rule, per se, but everyone does it routinely and no damage
is done. But somehow it got brought to the attention of HR and an
investigation was launched.
Facebook has 0
tolerance policy on many fronts. For instance, on harassment: telling a
coworker of either gender that you like their clothes can be reported
as harassment, said the training video. And so, a lot of personal
interactions, which, paradoxically, are strongly encouraged among
employees, are terminable offenses. The fact that alcohol is omnipresent
makes things even more complicated. This isn't what happened to me, but
this goes to illustrate the contradiction of zero tolerance policies,
which apply to loosely-defined actions.
I
wasn't aware an HR investigation was in the works. But what it entails
was that an investigator talked to several people of my entourage,
including my boss and my boss's boss.
One
fine morning, which was a solid block of meetings, I got an urgent
meeting request from a name I didn't know in HR which asked for my
cooperation for an investigation.
It felt
as if the ground opened beneath me. Of course, I could be asked to
collaborate to an investigation about someone else (which isn't much
better) but immediately I thought that this was going to be me and I
wondered what I had done. I wasn't allowed to tell about this to anyone
else per policy, but I was immediately set in a state of panic. The
meeting with that HR investigator was set in an hour, and it was lunch
time, but I was shaking and unable to think let alone get food. I just
sat at my desk and waited. A few minutes before the meeting I got up and
drifted towards the room.
At Facebook,
meeting rooms are typically designed so that people can easily see
what's going on inside (and realize they are headed to the wrong one,
for instance). Also, they have funny names, each building has its own
theme. In one floor of building 12, for instance, all meeting rooms have
names that take a different meaning when you say "in" before. My
favorite meeting room was called "5 minutes" (as in: "the meeting is in 5
minutes". Brilliant). This one was different. In the legal + HR space,
all meeting rooms have names after legal terms, like "Tort". I don't
remember the name of the room I was in, but it was arranged so that
people from the outside couldn't see in. Uninviting.
I
sat across an investigator who told me why I was here. It was about me.
My state of panic hadn't dissipated, but at that moment I couldn't
clearly see what could possibly happen next. Going to Facebook every day
had been such an integral part of my life. Every morning, I'd get up,
hop in the shuttle, and that's when my day began. Getting
breakfast, seeing all my friends, and doing my best at work all day,
while also spending all my time on Facebook, because that's how we
rolled - writing clever comments in the groups, see the likes roll in.
My professional, social and personal life were all deeply intertwined
with Facebook. And so, I wasn't really thinking about that. Just
answering the questions.
It was clear that
the person who talked to me had no idea what she was talking about. She
quickly confessed as much to me. The only thing she was interested in
was whether I had done the action that was held against me, and whether
somebody had asked me to do it. Think again of what I did as jaywalking.
Yes I did it, and nobody made me. I was working on a special project
with a VP at that time, and he had nothing to do with it. She asked me
why I did it, and I explained - jaywalking takes you from point A to
point B faster, it's not a conspiracy to create a traffic jam. In other
words, in what I did there was no damaged caused, no intention to harm
anyone, and no way for me to profit from it. If a week prior, I had
typed a few different keystrokes, I would never have been in that room.
But
here I was. I don't think she cared for my explanation, or that it
would have any weight, but probably part of the process was to hear me
out. But during that time I articulated an answer, I had the feeling,
for a fleeting moment, that I could talk my way out of this. I was an
employee in good standing, great track record, very appreciated, unique
skill set (or so I thought). It would be really irrational to let me go
just because the textbook said so. Talking, at that moment, felt good.
She
asked me: if you were not sure of what you were doing, why didn't you
ask your manager? that's when I realized that she and I were living in
completely disconnected realities, even though we were at the same
company. On a typical week, my boss was doubled booked Monday to Friday
from 9 to 6. In other words, at any time during the week, she should be
either at meeting A or at meeting B (sometimes: or at meeting C). She's
never at her desk, and she routinely cancelled our regular 1:1 meetings
because she has no other choice. So no, it never occurred to me that I
should ask her every 5 minutes if what I was doing was right. Especially
given that I had not the slightest notion that what I had done could
ever get me in trouble.
I asked the
investigator what would happen next. She was apparently impatient to end
the meeting. So that's what she explained: she was going to talk to the
employment lawyer and that person would determine whether or not what I
had done constituted a violation, and if so, whether there would be a
disciplinary action, and if so, what would it be. Obviously I pressed,
because this meant I could be fired. But the investigator wouldn't tell
me anything more, besides that what was best for me now is to let her
talk to the lawyer as soon as possible, and that I should take a walk
and relax.
Of course - they needed me
calm. They didn't want to handle a situation. But I complied. I took a
walk on the campus. Or was it outside? I really loved the campus. I
mean, beyond the meeting rooms. There's art everywhere. The landscape is
so unique, too. It's next to a marsh, with its typical wildlife (birds
and the like). Some people, me included, preferred to have their
meetings outside, walking around campus. It felt so good to be far away
from screens and notifications. And there had been quite a few times
when I felt my life was in crisis, and a little walk in the wilderness
had helped me put things in perspective. There were also so many great
work memories - when I felt I did something really awesome, or that I
witnessed a moment of pure brilliance from my teammates. I had been here
late at night, I had been here early in the morning... But what I liked
most about the campus though were the hundreds of people that I knew. I
wasn't close friends with all of them (with some, though) but many
people knew who I was and we would exchange smiles and smalltalk. I
wasn't anyone special. Everybody had that kind of experience on campus,
that feeling to be surrounded, to be among peers. For me, the campus was
my safe place. It felt more like home than my apartment.
Then
I came back my desk, and set up to work. I had been struggling with a
very abstract problem on my special project with the VP and finally saw a
solution which I implemented. And then, I got another meeting request
from my boss, to another HR meeting room, for the next day. That seemed
odd at that time, so I wrote her to confirm the day, and she said it was
really now. Today. In a few minutes.
I
was going to know. I thought, regardless of the output of the
investigation, they have to tell me in some kind of a confidential
environment, right? Even if there are no consequences? But what if there
are? well, at least I will find out. And everybody being reasonable,
there's surely a way we can talk this through.
And
so I went down to that second HR room - the Rainbow Room. Despite the
name, it is not a happy place. It is another confidential room. The sign
on the door says that you are not allowed to come in uninvited. I had
already been inside, for another investigation, as a witness, and
frankly, I had wished to never see it again.
There
was my boss, and a new person from HR that was working in our division.
She was new and it was my first time seeing her. There may have been a
security guard then, or maybe he magically appeared after the meeting
started. When we were all sitting, my boss calmly said that the
investigation concluded that there had been a violation and that today
was going to be my last day at Facebook. I was asked to hand in my
laptop, my phone and my badge.
It's been a
while now but it's very difficult to describe how I felt at that
moment. Shock, disbelief. And somehow, like a rabbit in headlights. I
just complied. And maybe delusional. This felt so unreal. Somebody is
telling you: imagine your life today. Well, starting tomorrow, every
single part of it will be different, and I am not going to sugarcoat it:
it will be worse.
Somehow I felt: I am going to be ok. I will quickly find another job. A better job.
But
really, I couldn't reconcile the words I was hearing with reality. My
boss's voice was devoid of emotion, even though we had gone through a
lot together (at least from my point of view).
I
felt stupid for not planning that I would have to give up my devices,
which were my primary devices and hadn't been backed up in a while. I
had a lot of personal things there that I never got back.
Then,
I was given a box with all the things at my desk, including, which was
weird, my jacket. When I walked down to the Rainbow Room, I never
thought I would have to leave immediately. And also, a voucher for a
taxi ride to anywhere I wanted. Part of me wanted to go see a good
friend in New York. But I was unable of such an act of rebellion. While I
waited for the taxi my boss sat next to me in an awkward silence. I
could keep my phone until my ride arrived. I had been automatically
removed from all my meetings of the day, so I started to get messages:
'where are you?' A few people had started noticing that I was no longer
showing in the internal tools and started writing me. Answering that
would take energy I didn't have. I did write to a few people though. I
told the most senior person I had that I considered a true friend, and
he told me he'll come right away for a hug, and I said it wouldn't be a
good idea. I have never seen him again. I called my family to let them
know what was happening, and could only leave a voice mail.
The
taxi eventually showed up. It was in the middle of the afternoon, and I
was heading home to San Francisco. Where else? I had lost my phone
shortly before starting working at Facebook, and, ironically, this was
the first time since then I found myself without one. Without a constant
feed of electronic notifications, little tethers to a glorious online
social life. Traffic on the 101 was bad, the weather was really hot
outside and the taxi wanted to talk. Without the escape that an
electronic device would have provided, I politely answered his questions
but wasn't really in a chatty mood.
When I got home, the first thing I did was getting me a new phone, and I started looking for a new job.
Little did I know this was only the beginning of what it means to be fired from Facebook. So what comes next?
I
turned on Facebook on my new phone. That felt different. You see, as an
employee, notifications come in non stop. If I were to leave my account
unattended during a work day, like when I would board a plane with no
wifi available, my notifications count will hit 99 in a matter of hours.
By comparison, my account now felt empty. In the days that followed I
would get maybe one notification or two? Just like before I worked here.
I couldn't bring myself to do any kind of
grand announcement on Facebook. The shame from having been let go was
all-consuming. This was confessing this shame to an assembly of people
that, unlike me, were still considered worthy of being on the campus.
Typically, when somebody leaves, they write a post visible to anyone at
Facebook (special setting for employees) that say that such day will be
their last day at Facebook, there's often a date for drinks, and an
outpour of positive messages. But in that case... nothing. Nothing but
questions, too, because my desk was empty that afternoon, and no one
told anything to my coworkers.
And nobody cared. All of these interactions simply disappeared. Except the people that were sitting immediately next to me, nobody noticed I was gone.
Over
time, I told some people. And to a handful, I told the story - they
just wouldn't believe me. A few weeks ago, I met someone who started the
same day as me (years ago). It's been well over a year since I left. He
told me he hadn't seen me in a long time - I realized he didn't know I had left.
But
even my relationship with people I felt closer to started simply
fading, with only a handful of exceptions. I would no longer sit next to
them in the shuttle, have lunch with them, or see them around on
campus, so what would be the point?
It will sound crazy, but it took me some time to reacclimatize to the normal world, like fix myself food during the week.
On
the job front, I quickly scored many interviews. Actually, I
interviewed non stop, several times per day, for a long time. But... I
would always be asked why I left Facebook. I learned how to answer that
question better and better but I was still very difficult to go through.
I got offers too, but none that remotely corresponded to the level of
passion I had for my Facebook job, and I couldn't settle for less.
So
I continued to interview pretty much full time, which is a very weird
experience. I felt very lonely, even though I was meeting new people all
day.
Eventually I took one offer. I
wasn't in love with the job but I had to stop looking. It was a much
less nice, and comfortable experience than working at Facebook. But I
like having done it. Working without all the perks, bells and whistles
of a big tech job, after having been in workspace paradise for so long,
grounds you. Makes you feel vulnerable, but in a good way. At Facebook,
you see posters everywhere that ask you what would you to if you weren't
afraid, that prompt you to proceed and be bold, and remind you that
this is the hacker company. Of course this is all a lie: that's how you
get fired. But since you are contacted by recruiters all the time
anyway, you feel invincible.
After
this, I eventually found another job where I am much happier. All
things considered, it's probably a better job than what I was doing at
Facebook. I'm not happy to have been fired. It's a wound that is still
sore; I lost so many friends, money, too, and the shame was
excruciating. But I hope that has made me a better person.
也许可以用来教育孩子：
Quora
也许可以用来教育孩子：
Quora
Do this NOW:
Try and do ONE of these two activities as fast and hard as you can for 60 seconds:
- Sprint. A lung busting sprint I'm talking about for 60 seconds
- Pushups. As many as you can. If it's too easy do them on your knuckles
If you do this PROPERLY well done. You should be in immense pain by the 60 seconds end.
Do you realise you've just experienced MORE pain in JUST 60 seconds than 95% of the people in your life you will ever meet?
Now
many many things in your life will no longer scare you. Do this daily
and then consider the challenges that await you for the day.
They will seem easy in comparison.
Additional benefits include:
- HIT (High intensity) training is the most effective fat burning, immune boosting, energy increasing kind of exercise there is
- Releases Dopamine into the brain - the bodies 'feel good chemical'
- You will likely find you want to exercise longer - so you'll get healthier still
- You're much more likely to 'Eat That Frog' - because what is worse (really) than immediate intense physical pain
- It'll increase your tolerance for pain - helps with sports, tattoos, exercise, and all else physical
NOW Do this over the next 3-6 months aggressively
And then for the rest of your life casually. (All from personal experience)
On relationships:
- Read
- Men are from Mars, Women are From Venus
- The five love languages
- Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps
- These alone will save you around 2 years of problems
- Listen more, with your heart. She'll notice
- Appreciate they way she is - and show her that you do
- Little gestures of love (e.g. buying her her favourite chocolate bar and leave it under the pillow after a hard day at work) are far more romantic than overblown/romantic cliches/gestures
- Compliment her - in front of other people. It's an amazing feeling for her
- Look at her when she isn't watching. She will feel it
- Document her favourite things, quirks, what she mentions she likes, ANYTHING positive. Create calendar reminders every 2-4 weeks to randomly surprise her on the basis of what she said. This is an ongoing list
On sex
- Make sex varied, not perfunctory
- Pleasure her first. Not the other way around
- Read 'She Comes First'. It will pay you back forever
- Sex isn't missionary position as hard as you can. Break that mindset
On cooking:
- Ask your mum to show your how to cook your favourite meal.
- Then her favourite meal
- Cook this for your girlfriend
- Try follow a recipe. Use Hello Fresh if you want to make it easy to begin with
- Borrow the cooking expertise of friends that cook - learn how to cook their favourite meals
- Learn from your girlfriend
- Cooking well will pay you back forever when you cook for friends, the women you date, and the woman you'll love
On your career:
- Read:
- How to Think Like a CEO
- How to Win Friends and Influence People
- Lynchpin
- Learn:
- Excel v. well (VBA lookup/Index/Match/3D Sum/$/&/etc)
- Powerpoint v. well
- Word v. well
- They will all ALWAYS pay you back and advance your career
- Form allegiances with rising stars, networking masters and some senior folk
- One day you'll need it
- Learn from those that have excelled
- Observe, Learn, Integrate, Apply, Surpass him/her
- Work is 60% about doing the work well and 40% playing the politics game
- Do both to the best of your ability
- Document your wins
- When it comes to salary review/appraisals/job offers you'll be happy you did this
For some resume advice you can check this out.
On startup:
- Read
- The Four Hour Work Week
- The Personal MBA
- Rich Dad Poor Dad
- Lean Startup
- Execution matters more
- There are words, deeds, and then there is action
- Build the startup as much as can ALONE
- Then find the team. What you've already built will improve the stock of people that want to work with you
- Focus on sales/pre-sales i.e. validation
- Everything else is fluff. This is the acid test
For more thoughts on this see here.
On health
- HIT it
- High intensity training (140-180 HR) is the only one worth doing
- You'll speed up your metabolism, burn fat quicker, and get stronger, leaner and healthier
- Do it
- Start small if you have to. But you never need to do much more than even 15 minutes a day to see results
- If it isn't hurting. It isn't working
- If you're aren't wheezing/heaving/barely breathing. It's not effective
- Need motivation?
- Eat in front of the mirror. Naked
On personal growth
- Read
- The God Delusion
- A Short History of Nearly Everything
- Freakonomics
- Pick some diverse topics that you like. Read them
- Spend time around interesting people
- It can be dancers, actors, musicians, business owners, sportsmen. As long as it's people with a clearly defined PASSION
- You will learn so much from them
- Learn a language
- When you can
- You can combine one of the above with this
- e.g. get a foreign girlfriend (is how I did it)
- Make time to travel
- The world is beautiful you'll learn so much
- You'll also be forced to talk to strangers
- You can combine this with other goals
- e.g. I only run marathons in new cities or countries. So far 18 different cities in 10 countries
On happiness
- Make time for people you love
- Friends, family etc
- Laugh. More. It's an amazing medicine
- Follow the health section. It cures so so many bad things (depression, anxiety, body image issues etc)
- Give back
- Help a family member, donate to a charity that means something to you, volunteer
- Whatever it is - it has to be meaningful to you
Overall
- There is only 'f*ck yes' or 'hell no'
- Either do things with commitment or leave it for later or leave it altogether
- Be reliable
- To yourself. And then to others
- Find what you love and the 'working hard' will come with it
- And whilst you're finding it. Work hard anyway
- No matter how sh*t your life is or difficult
- e.g. You're blind. Have no legs. Are quadriplegic. Remember - there are no excuses.
This life. It's on you.
Last thoughts
Well actually I have more of them. Life has not been straightforward. To find out more see here.
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